sprinklefingers

there are a few key words that truly disgust me.

they are, in no particular order, the following:
creamy
moist
supple
encrusted

but today i found a phrase that truly disgusts me:
soft & smooth

normally soft (on its own) wouldn’t bother me. normally smooth (on its own) wouldn’t bother me. but soft & smooth together, ESPECIALLY when it’s referring to a bread product, really kinda grosses me out.

bread? did i just say bread?

i did indeed. i had a rare 12 minutes tonight to watch some television and during that 12 minutes i saw approximately 293 ads. one of the ads was for sara lee’s new ‘soft & smooth plus’ bread. why soft & smooth? why plus? i HAD to find out.

based on my research, soft & smooth bread appears to be a whole grain bread BUT ‘tastes and feels’ like white bread. interestingly enough, when the ‘soft & smooth’ product first hit shelves, its whole grain claims weren’t exactly accepted as the whole truth. after dealing with the public relations nightmare, sara lee restated their claims of whole grain-hood and quickly set out to make clear exactly what they mean when they say whole grain. (hint: when they say whole grain, they only kinda mean it.)

and now the lovely tricksters over at sara lee have introduced this ‘soft & smooth plus’ crap. maybe it’s not actually whole grain bread…but who cares! they’ve hired a lab to create an additive that makes the bread high in DHA omega 3! which is PERFECT for their target market of young mothers who have been beat over the head with the DHA stick practically since before conception! brilliant!

instead of coming up with nutritious meals, instead of teaching kids about actual food being the best source of vitamins & nutrients, instead of doing the work that these things take - let’s feed the kids a glorified science project. perfect.

i could go on and on about this. but i’m going to leave you with this gem. i’m dying to know how much sara lee paid her for this quote:

“While moms recognize that DHA Omega-3 is important to their child’s diet, it can be difficult to incorporate, especially with picky eaters who turn their nose at one of the most common sources - fish,” said Dr. Alanna Levine, Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and parenting-expert. “If parents can add small portions of DHA into their child’s diet from a variety of sources – especially in something as palatable as a mild, soft-textured bread – it’s easy for their child to get the daily nutrition they need.”

‘especially in something as palatable as a mild, soft-textured bread’ is my new favorite quote.

i call bullshit.